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paradisa app
Jun. 9th, 2011 02:56 pmNAME: Chris
JOURNAL:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
kawaiispinel
EMAIL: whatineverhad[at]gmail.com
AIM: KawaiiSpinel42
WIKI NAME: N/A
CHARACTERS: Gabriel/The Trickster
CHARACTER NAME: Almighty Tallest Red
FANDOM: Invader ZIM
CANON: The end of season three.
WHAT THEY LOST: He is absolutely completely and utterly incapable of wishing for snacks from the castle. He can go find them or order other people to do it for him, but... Considering almost no one will want to, he's totally screwed. Except for when he steals them from Purple.
ABOUT THE CHARACTER: Space is big.
Really big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mindbogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space. This makes complete and utter conquest of space a virtual impossibility. Stars die, planets explode, new planets form in their place. The idea of conquering all of space is as improbable as saying "I will kill every cockroach in this run-down flat in New York." No matter how large your armada or can of bugspray, you will always be doomed to failure.
This is not something anyone told the Irkens, a race of aliens whose entire reason for being is the complete assimilation of every planet in the universe into the Irken empire.
This is a goal doomed to complete failure, which explains a great deal about the Irken race, really.
That said, they are a hive-mind that has no hive mentality- despite the fact that they all share the same basic knowledge and skillset (uploaded into the shell-like objects they wear on their backs called their PAK), they pretty much each have their own personalities and quirks with a few shared traits- they're all self-centered egomaniacs, for example, and they're technical geniuses with zero common sense and no sense of restraint. They're governed and ruled by the Control Brains, responsible for creating and programming all Irken life and their entire existence is basically dominated by the desire to conquer enemy planets and turn said planets into things you find at mini-malls (seriously, there's a Food Court planet- they're not very creative either). They have no real goal to their aspirations for total global conquest beyond... The universe is there and that's what they do- they invade and conquer.
And right under the Control Brains, are the Tallest, the Irken race's undisputed rulers, who are more like figureheads than anything (hell, they don't even stay on Irk- they fly around space in their fucking massive battleship... the Massive), but try telling them that- oh hell yeah, they're all-powerful and amazing, don'tcha know. Yes, folks, this is a race of aliens who choose their leaders based on height, rather than anything else, because all Irkens are fundamentally the same aside from how much they happen to grow. Being tall is important. If you're short, you suck. End of story.
As there are two Irkens currently of the same height, there are two Tallest, who, luckily, have been friends since they were Elites, so it works out and neither of them seem to mind sharing the spotlight. Of the two, Red is the more intelligent, but that's not saying much. When it comes down to it, Red's usually the one making official statements, fixing problems, or getting shit done, but he's also just as lazy as his counterpart and just exists in a perpetual state of "I don't give a fuck," but can be proactive in a bad situation- moreso than Purple anyway. Even though he's joined at the squeedly-spooch with Purple, he gets a lot of enjoyment out of bullying him when he gets the chance, but not nearly as much as he enjoys picking on his lesser Irkens, because he's the motherfucking Tallest and he does what he wants. He has only slightly more self-control than his partner and doesn't generally say every thought in his head or... Lie badly (in fact, he's not so much of a perpetual liar as the guy who will hand you a sandwich and tell you to get lost or, you know, flat-out tells you he's going to blow you up- that isn't to say he doesn't lie, but he's more blunt and to the point and it's funny to watch Purple add-lib off of his BS and make it BS-iser), but he still cares more about his snacks than he cares about the fate of his entire race, beyond the fact that he believes, without a doubt, that nothing would be dumb enough to stand against the Irken armada. He does, however, seem pretty protective of Purple, despite beating him up- NO HOMO- as he got irritated at Zim for ruining Tak's plan to fill the earth with snacks, because Purple was distraught that the plan had failed, growling, "He LIKES snacks, Zim" at his inferior. The only person who can be a dick to his fellow Tallest is him.
To Red, being a Tallest isn't about being a leader. It's about telling other people what to do and never actually having to do any of the work, himself. Work is hard. He did that stuff, already. Make with the snacks and let him watch the suffering of others and enjoy the exaltation of the lesser beings while eating delicious food- that's the good life. He might be the logical one of the two, but, goddammit, YOU WILL SAVE THE DONUTS... And then save the ship. One of these things is more important than the other. In fact, Red and Purple seem to care so little about their subordinates that they actually react casually when, after ordering an Irken thrown out the airlock, their soldiers seize the wrong guy- oh well, everyone got the point, too bad to be that guy. Basically, he and his counterpart live in some whacked out alien MTV reality show life that happens to involve invading enemy planets and deriving entertainment from either the success of their inferiors (which makes them look good) or the failures of their inferiors (which is funny, even as it shames them, but failure means they get to inflict horrible and degrading punishments).
The one thing he and Purple have in common besides their love of snacks and general egomaniac and laziness is their mutual hatred of the Defective Zim, who is the failiest (and shortest) Irken that ever Irked and has his mind set on being an Invader, even though he sucks at it. I mean, really sucks- so much that he caused the deaths of Red and Purple's predecessor Tallests. They don't seem to be afraid of being next, because they're pretty thoroughly occupied with ignoring Zim, banishing him, finding creative ways to get him killed, or generally ignoring him (but never actively killing him themselves for some reason), but he always finds some bizarre way of... Stalking their lives. And it makes things suck a lot. In fact, as far as Red's concerned, it's the only real drawback to being the Tallest. Being in close proximity to Zim is going to be the bane of his existence and he will devote SO MUCH TIME to finding ways to get rid of the little worm.
Possibly the most important thing is that the Tallest are allergic to actual work- while capable of acting with the skills of the Irken Elite, having once been Elites, themselves, they rely on their subordinates to do their bidding and won't do much on their own (in fact, in being the Tallest, their PAKs were likely reprogrammed to not have the extra bells and whistles that Irkens who do actual combat work have, as we never see them using anything like Zim does- it's pointless as they never really engage in any combat themselves). Red, of course, being the proactive one, also seems to be the one who shows at least marginal interest in going the extra mile to get his own... Two fingers dirty- he was responsible for creating GIR, Zim's malfunctioning SIR unit out of scraps from the trash and he also was the one who took the time to perform a diagnostic on the Massive to figure out the problem when Zim hacked it. Conversely, however, Red tends to be the more neutral of the two, seeming to lack a lot of emotional response beyond irritation- he's the first to show anger, the first to act, and usually when Purple has an emotional reaction to something beyond the normal amusement/anger/annoyance hodgepodge of Irken emotions, he just... Nods and goes with it. Red doesn't like having to think or put actual effort into anything, but... He's kind of the one stuck with the brains in this outfit, even if he'd rather be lazy, immature, and enjoy things like lasers and puppet shows and food, so quite often he has to ruin his own enjoyment of things by raining on Purple's (or... Anyone's, really, but his fellow Tallest is really the only person who matters, man) parade with logic.
-THIRD-PERSON WRITING SAMPLE: There weren't all that many times when this particular Tallest wished his dear friend wasn't a little bit shorter- mostly because having two Tallest meant that they could be twice as impressive, twice as lazy, and it was a lot more fun torturing- er... evaulating- the Invaders with someone who understood you... And it never got boring. Honestly, he was eternally grateful to his fellow Tallest for... Uh. Various all and sundry sentimental things that he didn't want to go into, because Irkens wern't meant to be emotional.
But right now... Watching Purple wishing up snack after snack when the castle would grant him nothing greasy, fattening, and delicious made him want to smash the ravenous bastard's PAK with something heavy.... And he immediately felt bad for that, which was strange and not altogether pleasant. Friendship was so weird sometimes. Stupid... Need to be a good friend and not beat his fellow ruler of the Irken race senseless because some stupid castle liked him better.
Which was stupid. He was the smart one. He got things done. Purple just made up shit and he wasn't even that good at it. Stupid castle... Thing.
....Actually, to be honest, it was probably not Purple's fault at all and Red probably hadn't done anything to piss off the castle. It could be any number of things. It was probably ZIM. There was a thought that made him feel oddly floaty- ah, the wonders of blaming Zim for everything. It was like an instant mood-lifter. Bad day? Zim caused it and he should be punished- come to think of it, he hadn't punished Zim today.
That done, he floated over to where Purple was wallowing and snatched up some nachos for himself before announcing, "I feel like sending Zim on some deadly, pointless mission. You in?"
And the gleeful affirmative was really all he needed to remind him just why he and Purple worked so well together- and at least his fellow Tallest shared the snacks the castle gave him. Always a plus- not that Red gave him a choice in the matter. Whatever.
FIRST-PERSON WRITING SAMPLE: Citizens of... This... planet-thing. We are the... ALMIGHTY TALLEST. As you're probably already aware, you're surrounded by the Irken Armada. At a single command, we will reduce this inferior planet to, uh... [There's some pausing and some whispering that's... Loud enough to be heard.]
No, we already did parking structure. ...Oh, that's a good one. [COUGH. And now back to the journal.] This Paradisa as you inferior natives call it will be reduced to a gift shop planet. You have twenty minutes to surrender yourselves to the Irken Empire or be anniliated. Starting now.
...A little faster. We are on a tight schedule here. And your inferior technology is embarassing.
.....
Okay! First person to surrender gets a complimentary gift basket from... Giftshopticus.
INTENT: I swore I'd never app another character, but I feel a crack character that's just hilarious and fun to play, regardless of plot and CR, would be a less stressful option for a second character. Also, I want to be a canonmate to Pan's Zim. Seriously.
JOURNAL:
kawaiispinel EMAIL: whatineverhad[at]gmail.com
AIM: KawaiiSpinel42
WIKI NAME: N/A
CHARACTERS: Gabriel/The Trickster
CHARACTER NAME: Almighty Tallest Red
FANDOM: Invader ZIM
CANON: The end of season three.
WHAT THEY LOST: He is absolutely completely and utterly incapable of wishing for snacks from the castle. He can go find them or order other people to do it for him, but... Considering almost no one will want to, he's totally screwed. Except for when he steals them from Purple.
ABOUT THE CHARACTER: Space is big.
Really big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mindbogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space. This makes complete and utter conquest of space a virtual impossibility. Stars die, planets explode, new planets form in their place. The idea of conquering all of space is as improbable as saying "I will kill every cockroach in this run-down flat in New York." No matter how large your armada or can of bugspray, you will always be doomed to failure.
This is not something anyone told the Irkens, a race of aliens whose entire reason for being is the complete assimilation of every planet in the universe into the Irken empire.
This is a goal doomed to complete failure, which explains a great deal about the Irken race, really.
That said, they are a hive-mind that has no hive mentality- despite the fact that they all share the same basic knowledge and skillset (uploaded into the shell-like objects they wear on their backs called their PAK), they pretty much each have their own personalities and quirks with a few shared traits- they're all self-centered egomaniacs, for example, and they're technical geniuses with zero common sense and no sense of restraint. They're governed and ruled by the Control Brains, responsible for creating and programming all Irken life and their entire existence is basically dominated by the desire to conquer enemy planets and turn said planets into things you find at mini-malls (seriously, there's a Food Court planet- they're not very creative either). They have no real goal to their aspirations for total global conquest beyond... The universe is there and that's what they do- they invade and conquer.
And right under the Control Brains, are the Tallest, the Irken race's undisputed rulers, who are more like figureheads than anything (hell, they don't even stay on Irk- they fly around space in their fucking massive battleship... the Massive), but try telling them that- oh hell yeah, they're all-powerful and amazing, don'tcha know. Yes, folks, this is a race of aliens who choose their leaders based on height, rather than anything else, because all Irkens are fundamentally the same aside from how much they happen to grow. Being tall is important. If you're short, you suck. End of story.
As there are two Irkens currently of the same height, there are two Tallest, who, luckily, have been friends since they were Elites, so it works out and neither of them seem to mind sharing the spotlight. Of the two, Red is the more intelligent, but that's not saying much. When it comes down to it, Red's usually the one making official statements, fixing problems, or getting shit done, but he's also just as lazy as his counterpart and just exists in a perpetual state of "I don't give a fuck," but can be proactive in a bad situation- moreso than Purple anyway. Even though he's joined at the squeedly-spooch with Purple, he gets a lot of enjoyment out of bullying him when he gets the chance, but not nearly as much as he enjoys picking on his lesser Irkens, because he's the motherfucking Tallest and he does what he wants. He has only slightly more self-control than his partner and doesn't generally say every thought in his head or... Lie badly (in fact, he's not so much of a perpetual liar as the guy who will hand you a sandwich and tell you to get lost or, you know, flat-out tells you he's going to blow you up- that isn't to say he doesn't lie, but he's more blunt and to the point and it's funny to watch Purple add-lib off of his BS and make it BS-iser), but he still cares more about his snacks than he cares about the fate of his entire race, beyond the fact that he believes, without a doubt, that nothing would be dumb enough to stand against the Irken armada. He does, however, seem pretty protective of Purple, despite beating him up- NO HOMO- as he got irritated at Zim for ruining Tak's plan to fill the earth with snacks, because Purple was distraught that the plan had failed, growling, "He LIKES snacks, Zim" at his inferior. The only person who can be a dick to his fellow Tallest is him.
To Red, being a Tallest isn't about being a leader. It's about telling other people what to do and never actually having to do any of the work, himself. Work is hard. He did that stuff, already. Make with the snacks and let him watch the suffering of others and enjoy the exaltation of the lesser beings while eating delicious food- that's the good life. He might be the logical one of the two, but, goddammit, YOU WILL SAVE THE DONUTS... And then save the ship. One of these things is more important than the other. In fact, Red and Purple seem to care so little about their subordinates that they actually react casually when, after ordering an Irken thrown out the airlock, their soldiers seize the wrong guy- oh well, everyone got the point, too bad to be that guy. Basically, he and his counterpart live in some whacked out alien MTV reality show life that happens to involve invading enemy planets and deriving entertainment from either the success of their inferiors (which makes them look good) or the failures of their inferiors (which is funny, even as it shames them, but failure means they get to inflict horrible and degrading punishments).
The one thing he and Purple have in common besides their love of snacks and general egomaniac and laziness is their mutual hatred of the Defective Zim, who is the failiest (and shortest) Irken that ever Irked and has his mind set on being an Invader, even though he sucks at it. I mean, really sucks- so much that he caused the deaths of Red and Purple's predecessor Tallests. They don't seem to be afraid of being next, because they're pretty thoroughly occupied with ignoring Zim, banishing him, finding creative ways to get him killed, or generally ignoring him (but never actively killing him themselves for some reason), but he always finds some bizarre way of... Stalking their lives. And it makes things suck a lot. In fact, as far as Red's concerned, it's the only real drawback to being the Tallest. Being in close proximity to Zim is going to be the bane of his existence and he will devote SO MUCH TIME to finding ways to get rid of the little worm.
Possibly the most important thing is that the Tallest are allergic to actual work- while capable of acting with the skills of the Irken Elite, having once been Elites, themselves, they rely on their subordinates to do their bidding and won't do much on their own (in fact, in being the Tallest, their PAKs were likely reprogrammed to not have the extra bells and whistles that Irkens who do actual combat work have, as we never see them using anything like Zim does- it's pointless as they never really engage in any combat themselves). Red, of course, being the proactive one, also seems to be the one who shows at least marginal interest in going the extra mile to get his own... Two fingers dirty- he was responsible for creating GIR, Zim's malfunctioning SIR unit out of scraps from the trash and he also was the one who took the time to perform a diagnostic on the Massive to figure out the problem when Zim hacked it. Conversely, however, Red tends to be the more neutral of the two, seeming to lack a lot of emotional response beyond irritation- he's the first to show anger, the first to act, and usually when Purple has an emotional reaction to something beyond the normal amusement/anger/annoyance hodgepodge of Irken emotions, he just... Nods and goes with it. Red doesn't like having to think or put actual effort into anything, but... He's kind of the one stuck with the brains in this outfit, even if he'd rather be lazy, immature, and enjoy things like lasers and puppet shows and food, so quite often he has to ruin his own enjoyment of things by raining on Purple's (or... Anyone's, really, but his fellow Tallest is really the only person who matters, man) parade with logic.
-THIRD-PERSON WRITING SAMPLE: There weren't all that many times when this particular Tallest wished his dear friend wasn't a little bit shorter- mostly because having two Tallest meant that they could be twice as impressive, twice as lazy, and it was a lot more fun torturing- er... evaulating- the Invaders with someone who understood you... And it never got boring. Honestly, he was eternally grateful to his fellow Tallest for... Uh. Various all and sundry sentimental things that he didn't want to go into, because Irkens wern't meant to be emotional.
But right now... Watching Purple wishing up snack after snack when the castle would grant him nothing greasy, fattening, and delicious made him want to smash the ravenous bastard's PAK with something heavy.... And he immediately felt bad for that, which was strange and not altogether pleasant. Friendship was so weird sometimes. Stupid... Need to be a good friend and not beat his fellow ruler of the Irken race senseless because some stupid castle liked him better.
Which was stupid. He was the smart one. He got things done. Purple just made up shit and he wasn't even that good at it. Stupid castle... Thing.
....Actually, to be honest, it was probably not Purple's fault at all and Red probably hadn't done anything to piss off the castle. It could be any number of things. It was probably ZIM. There was a thought that made him feel oddly floaty- ah, the wonders of blaming Zim for everything. It was like an instant mood-lifter. Bad day? Zim caused it and he should be punished- come to think of it, he hadn't punished Zim today.
That done, he floated over to where Purple was wallowing and snatched up some nachos for himself before announcing, "I feel like sending Zim on some deadly, pointless mission. You in?"
And the gleeful affirmative was really all he needed to remind him just why he and Purple worked so well together- and at least his fellow Tallest shared the snacks the castle gave him. Always a plus- not that Red gave him a choice in the matter. Whatever.
FIRST-PERSON WRITING SAMPLE: Citizens of... This... planet-thing. We are the... ALMIGHTY TALLEST. As you're probably already aware, you're surrounded by the Irken Armada. At a single command, we will reduce this inferior planet to, uh... [There's some pausing and some whispering that's... Loud enough to be heard.]
No, we already did parking structure. ...Oh, that's a good one. [COUGH. And now back to the journal.] This Paradisa as you inferior natives call it will be reduced to a gift shop planet. You have twenty minutes to surrender yourselves to the Irken Empire or be anniliated. Starting now.
...A little faster. We are on a tight schedule here. And your inferior technology is embarassing.
.....
Okay! First person to surrender gets a complimentary gift basket from... Giftshopticus.
INTENT: I swore I'd never app another character, but I feel a crack character that's just hilarious and fun to play, regardless of plot and CR, would be a less stressful option for a second character. Also, I want to be a canonmate to Pan's Zim. Seriously.
