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Almighty Tallest Red
(I'm the boss)
Free Account
Created on 2012-05-10 04:04:11 (#1618577), last updated 2012-05-10 (684 weeks ago)
0 comments received, 14 comments posted
1 Journal Entry, 2 Tags, 0 Memories, 15 Icons Uploaded
| Name: | Almighty Tallest Red |
|---|---|
| Birthdate: | Jan 31 |
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has this to say about the Irken race... |
Space is big. Really big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mindbogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space. This makes complete and utter conquest of space a virtual impossibility. Stars die, planets explode, new planets form in their place. The idea of conquering all of space is as improbable as saying "I will kill every cockroach in this run-down flat in New York." No matter how large your armada or can of bugspray, you will always be doomed to failure. This is not something anyone told the Irkens, a race of aliens whose entire reason for being is the complete assimilation of every planet in the universe into the Irken empire. This is a goal doomed to complete failure, which explains a great deal about the Irken race, really. |
Almighty Tallest Red |
As half of the undisputed rulers of the Irken Empire, Almighty Tallest Red does many things you would expect a ruler to do. He travels around on a giant spaceship, lives a life of luxury and mindless entertainment, eats a lot, and expects everyone else to do all the hard work. This is both because he and his counterpart are really just figureheads and because they, as the song goes, "are the boss," which means they can do whatever the hell they want, so long as it doesn't interfere with what the Control Brain wants- and sometimes the Control Brain wants dumb things. Or is hacked by a malfunctioning SIR unit. And that sucks. Of the two, Red is where they keep most of the brains. He's more of a commander than his partner, but that doesn't mean much. He still enjoys a good puppet show and pummeling his subordinates when they displease him. And he hates Zim with blind furious passion and would like to destroy that Tallest-killing fucktard. Unfortunately, it's not that easy, so he just settles for trying to make his life painful and humiliating. Spoiler: It doesn't... Usually work the way he wants it to. |
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